What if you stopped surviving Christmas and finally received it as the holy, peace-filled gift God meant it to be? Here’s how to stress less and reclaim the season with purpose.
It was December 2001 and my wife and I had just returned to Brevard County to spend Christmas with our family. This year was extra special, it would be our first time celebrating the birth of Christ as parents. Our six-month-old had brought a new kind of joy into our lives, and we were determined to create a picture-perfect experience for our little boy, sharing cherished moments with grandparents and extended family.
Leading up to the trip, I had a clear vision of how it would all unfold: family movie nights, lively games, tons of family dinners, and presents unwrapped with multiple sets of relatives, straight out of a Norman Rockwell painting. But, as anyone with a baby knows, life rarely goes as planned.
At first, we powered through, determined to meet everyone’s expectations by accepting every invitation and attending every gathering. But halfway through the trip, the cracks began to show. I vividly remember getting ready for yet another family dinner, both of us worn out and our little boy crankier than ever.
In that moment, I announced, “Let’s just skip this one and relax tonight.” The idea felt like a lifeline. I actually loved it! But almost immediately, I hesitated, saying, “Should we really do that? Won’t everyone be so disappointed?”
Looking back now, it’s almost laughable. We sat there, deliberating over whether it was okay to set a simple, healthy boundary for our little family. We had a bad case of FOMO, fear of missing out, and were stuck between the weight of unrealistic expectations and the reality of our exhaustion.
In the end, we caved to the guilt and dragged ourselves to dinner, faking smiles and enthusiasm all night long. By the time the week was over, we were completely drained and couldn’t have been any happier to get in our car and drive back home to Atlanta, eager to reclaim our peace. That first Christmas as parents taught us a valuable lesson: joy isn’t found in meeting everyone’s expectations. It’s found in being present for the moments that truly matter, something we’ve carried with us ever since.
Let’s be honest: the holidays are stressful for most of us, no matter what stage of life we’re in. Despite our hopes for picture-perfect celebrations, the reality often falls short. Instead of warm, beautiful moments with loved ones, the holidays can spiral into disappointments, overwhelming pressure, and unmet expectations.
At LiveWell, we see this firsthand. Each year, we receive more calls during the holidays than any other time, people seeking help with addiction, depression, anxiety, and family struggles. While the reasons vary, three themes consistently emerge across our clients’ stories. First, the stress of time and scheduling demands. The holidays are packed with obligations, work, social events, and endless preparations. Balancing these commitments can leave people overwhelmed, much like my wife and I experienced. The pressure to attend every event or plan perfect celebrations often leads to burnout.
Second, financial strain. Between gift-giving, travel, and hosting, the holidays can wreak havoc on budgets. Some people even resign themselves to going into debt just to make it through December, starting the new year under the weight of financial stress.
Lastly, family dynamics and relationships. While the holidays are meant to bring us together, they can also magnify conflicts, unresolved issues, or grief over missing loved ones. Navigating complicated relationships or feeling obligated to meet family expectations can increase stress and create relational discord.
The holidays, for all their beauty and potential for connection, can be one of the most
challenging times of the year. Recognizing these stressors is the first step to creating a season that feels less overwhelming and more meaningful.
Whatever your situation, chances are the holidays bring some level of stress, not just for you, but for those you love too. So how do we push back against the unrealistic expectations and overwhelming pressure of the season?
Make the Holidays Holy Days
To truly connect this holiday season, let’s reflect on the meaning of the word “holiday.” At its core, a holiday is essentially a “holy day", a time set apart for intentional, meaningful living. Rooted in faith traditions, holy days were marked by unique rituals and purposeful behaviors, distinct from the ordinary.
Even today, we naturally set the holidays apart, taking time off work, gathering with family and friends, preparing special meals, and exchanging gifts. Yet too often, these traditions can feel rushed, superficial, or stressful. What if we reimagined the holidays as intentional “holy days,” choosing to engage and behave differently, not out of obligation but as an act of choice, with purpose?
By reframing the season this way, we can break free from the chaos of mindless habits and embrace what truly matters. This doesn’t require grand gestures, just a willingness to pause, reflect, and make choices that align with what brings joy and meaning.
Choose Meaningful Priorities
As we start to behave differently in order to reduce stress this holiday season, focus on intentionally choosing activities that reflect the real meaning and purpose of the season. Many of us spend so much time chasing the perfect gifts that we lose sight of what we already have. We get so caught up planning amazing celebrations that we forget to celebrate the simple miracles of everyday life.
Make the decision today to stop the madness. Shift your priorities, creating experiences that feel meaningful and will be cherished by your family. Go for walks. Play board games. Have heartfelt conversations with your kids. Prioritize rest. And keep this truth at the forefront: the essence of Christmas can be distilled into one simple word: LOVE.
Here’s a practical way to evaluate your holiday priorities: Take out a piece of paper and write down what you want your holidays to look like. How do you want to spend your time? What activities feel important to engage in? Who do you want to spend your time with?
On another sheet, list what you have historically engaged in during the holidays. What actually filled your calendar? Who did you spend time with? What parties, dinners, events, or traditions took up your energy?
Now compare the two lists. Are your actions aligned with what you value most? If not, challenge yourself to make changes. Recognize the disparities between what you say you would like to prioritize and how you actually spend your time.
This holiday season, break free from the rush and make room for what God designed this time to hold: purpose, connection, and love.
Set Healthy Boundaries with Others
Once you’ve decided to make changes for a less stressful holiday season, the next step is to commit to specific actions, starting with healthy boundaries.
Establishing boundaries with friends and family is one of the most powerful ways to reduce holiday stress and protect your emotional well-being. Learning to say “no” without guilt is a key skill for navigating the season with grace. It starts with a shift in your mindset. Remind yourself that taking care of your mental and emotional health is not selfish, it’s essential.
When setting your new guilt-free boundaries, be clear, kind, and firm. For example, if you are invited to an event you can’t attend, you might say: “I really appreciate the invite, but I can’t make it. This year, I’m committed to keeping my schedule balanced.”
Practicing these responses ahead of time can help you feel more confident and less flustered in the moment. Remember, boundaries create space for what matters, your peace, your priorities, and your well-being. When you respect your limits, others are more likely to follow suit.
Set Healthy Boundaries with Yourself
Setting boundaries with yourself during the holidays is just as important as setting them with others. The season is filled with temptations to overindulge, whether it’s food, alcohol, spending, or skipping healthy routines like exercise and sleep. While saying yes to every treat, late-night party, or impulse buy can feel good in the moment, these choices often lead to burnout, guilt, or physical exhaustion.
Personal boundaries mean making intentional choices to protect your well-being. Left unchecked, many of us make decisions driven by guilt or fear of missing out, just like my wife and I did.
This year, commit to nourishing your body with balanced meals, limiting alcohol to avoid next-day sluggishness, and keeping a consistent sleep and exercise routine to stay energized. But remember, self-care isn’t about deprivation, it’s about balance.
Enjoy some indulgences. That’s part of what makes it fun, right? Eat the pie. Go to the party. Buy the thoughtful gift. The key is moderation and intention. Thoughtful choices now will leave you feeling healthier, more grounded, and ready to fully embrace the joy of the season.
Surround Yourself With People Committed to a Less-Stressed Holiday
Here’s the bottom line: it’s very difficult to make meaningful changes in isolation. Surrounding yourself with people who support your efforts to create a less-stressed holiday is essential. Research consistently shows that social support plays a critical role in sustaining lifestyle changes. It offers accountability, shared activities, and practical help while reducing isolation and boosting resilience during tough moments.
Studies reveal that individuals with strong social networks experience lower stress levels, improved emotional well-being, and greater success in reaching and maintaining their goals. Think about the changes you’ve successfully made in your life. Chances are, meaningful relationships played a key role in cheering you on and keeping you accountable. Conversely, think of the times you’ve struggled to make changes; chances are you did not have individuals who were on your side rooting for you.
As you work to establish healthier habits this year, whether creating meaningful priorities, setting healthy boundaries, or maintaining healthy routines, having friends, family, or a community who understand and encourage your goals can make all the difference.
That is why we created the LiveWell Coaching platform. It offers a simple way to gain support as you build healthier habits, with free monthly challenges, self-paced courses, encouraging podcast videos, live events, and even one-on-one coaching.
If you are looking for simple, grounded ways to feel less overwhelmed this season, join our free 14-day Less Stressed Holiday Challenge at LiveWell-Coaching.com. It’s a meaningful first step toward a calmer, more centered you.
This year, let’s decide together to transform the holidays into intentional “Holy Days.” With support, we can find less stress, more peace, and the ultimate gift, LOVE.
Whether you’re facing anxiety, depression, or relationship struggles, LiveWell’s coaching program offers expert tools to help you heal and grow. Want to learn more? Visit https://www.livewell-coaching.com.
