Wondering how to get your kids involved in family, health and faith decisions? Here are 5 practical ways to involve children in the family decision-making process.
Recently, I had the opportunity to plant evergreen trees in my yard. After removing several unhealthy trees and bushes, with the help of my children and a few of my Cedarville University students, I began the process of selecting suitable evergreens for planting.
Along the way, I intentionally involved my children in every step. During the removal process, I operated the chainsaw; my son hauled the cut pieces to the backyard; my daughters sprayed brush killer, used shears for smaller branches, and helped gather debris along the way. When it came time to decide which evergreens to plant, it was a family affair. Together, we researched different varieties, discussed spacing, considered placement, and I encouraged my children to share their thoughts throughout the process.
While I wouldn’t consider myself to have a green thumb, I did assume the role of “master gardener,” responsible for purchasing the trees, coordinating delivery, and handling tasks only I could manage.
When it came time to plant, however, digging holes, selecting additional soil, and watering, every family member participated. Much like a garden, a family flourishes when every member actively contributes. When children are given opportunities to participate in family decisions, develop healthy habits, and engage in spiritual growth, they become more resilient, knowledgeable, and connected—not only to their family, but also to the Lord.
Discipleship is not about doing everything for our children. Rather, it involves allowing them to practice independently, make mistakes, and then lovingly guiding them through those missteps.
With that in mind, here are several practical ways to involve children in family, health, and faith-based decisions.
Five Ways to Involve Children in Decision-Making
1. Hold Weekly Family Meetings
During our weekly family meetings, we discuss chores, goals, and activities for the week. Some goals are short-term, while others are longer-range. We also plan meals and family commitments together. For example, if one of my children suggests hamburgers for dinner, I, being a hamburger enthusiast, am always happy to grill, regardless of the weather. If someone wants to see a movie or plan another activity, we do our best to make it happen as a family.
2. Assign Age-Appropriate Chores
Our children’s responsibilities have evolved over time. At three years old, they helped dry dishes, assisted in the kitchen, and carried small trash bags from bathrooms and bedrooms. Today, they care for the dogs, clean their rooms, and manage additional household duties. The key is matching responsibilities to age-appropriate readiness.
3. Encourage Participation in Meal Planning
As a family focused on healthy living, we invite our children to help plan and prepare nutritious meals. This includes browsing online recipes, learning about nutrition, and selecting fresh produce at the grocery store. When children participate in meal planning, they are more invested in healthy choices. As a Medi‑Share Member, you also have access to nutritional guidance and healthy recipes through the Biblical Wellness Program, designed to support your family in maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
4. Include Them in Setting Family Goals
Whether planning a family trip that requires saving together or reducing screen time, children should be involved in these discussions. They learn how decisions are made, observe respectful disagreement, and experience the reality that not everyone gets exactly what they want. These moments teach children how to navigate tension, weigh multiple perspectives, and trust that thoughtful decisions ultimately benefit the family as a whole.
5. Incorporating Children in Spiritual Practices
We involve our children in spiritual practices by modeling faith and providing sound theological and doctrinal resources. My wife or I typically lead a family devotional in the morning, but our children are encouraged to choose when they complete their individual devotions. Some prefer mornings, others after school, or in the evening.
The Benefits (and Challenges) of Involving Children
Involving children in decision-making comes with both benefits and challenges. The challenges are obvious: children will make mistakes, and those mistakes can cost additional time, money, or energy. Sometimes parents must clean up the consequences of poor choices.
However, after raising teenagers and listening to college students reflect on their upbringing over the past decade, I am convinced the benefits far outweigh the drawbacks.
Ten Reasons Involving Children Matters
- Builds Confidence and Self-Worth: Children feel valued, heard, and respected.
- Strengthens Family Unit: Shared decision-making fosters teamwork rather than power struggles and teaches children how to lead and follow.
- Improves Communication Skills: Children learn to express opinions respectfully and listen to others—skills many adults still struggle to master.
- Encourages Responsibility: Participation helps children understand the consequences of choices, both positive and negative.
- Promotes Healthy Lifestyle Habits: When children help choose meals or routines, they are more likely to follow them. This was true when I taught first grade twenty years ago and remains true in our home today.
- Deepens Spiritual Identity: Faith becomes personal rather than something merely “done for them.” Too many children disengage from church once they leave home.
- Teaches Wise Decision-Making: Children learn to evaluate options through both biblical and practical lenses, developing a God-centered worldview.
- Reduces Behavioral Conflict: Children are less resistant when they feel their voices matter.
- Cultivates Gratitude and Humility: When children help carry responsibility, they are less likely to complain about the load.
- Prepares Them for Adult Life: Real decision-making develops critical thinking, discernment, and life skills.
When children help carry the load, they learn not only how to work, but how to serve, discern, and grow spiritually. These habits shape resilient adults who contribute meaningfully to their families, churches, and communities, wherever God places them.
Recommended Resources
For further reading on family ministry and discipleship, consider:
I contributed to each of these volumes. Another excellent resource is Family Discipleship That Works: Guiding Your Child to Know, Love, and Act Like Jesus by Brian Dembowczyk —someone I know personally and deeply respect.
Dr. Kevin M. Jones, Dean of the College of Education at Cedarville University, is passionate about equipping fathers to build resilient sons and to see teachers and leaders influence the lives of students for the glory of God. Cedarville University’s ranking in The Wall Street Journal’s 2026 Best Colleges in the U.S. places Cedarville among the top five evangelical universities in America.
