[As originally seen on Crosswalk] As the countdown to the end of this last school year came to an end, it occurred to me that half of my summers with my oldest daughter were gone. I blinked and – poof – nothing but memories remained.
The wonderful thing is we have created so many memories. From the extraordinary things like road trips to visit grandparents, zoo visits, and theme park days, to the seemingly mundane moments like running through sprinklers in the front yard and ice cream for dinner on the beach, we’ve made these summers count. (And let’s be honest, sharing a cone while staring at the Atlantic Ocean is pretty darn magical.)
With that and so much more in mind, I want to ensure I make these next nine years count before she leaps off to the next phase of her life. And not just in the fun, memory-making department, though that’s certainly on the agenda. I also want to intentionally invest in her spiritual and mental health during these especially impressionable years ahead.
As I channel my inner 90’s, W.W.J.D. bracelet-wearing self, I’ve got to believe it’s not too cliché to in fact ask, what would Jesus do? What would He tell the youth of today?
Honestly, His message hasn’t changed. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. (Hebrews 13:8) But to be fair, some of the specific pressures and circumstances kids and teens are faced with today are different than what the youth of 1st century AD faced.
According to a 2024 study, peer influence significantly affects adolescents' decision-making and behavior due to their still-developing brains. The prefrontal cortex, responsible for judgment and risk assessment, is not fully mature, making teens more susceptible to peer pressure, particularly in risky situations.
I haven’t even reached the teenage years with my kids yet, and I’m trying not to be fearful. It’s hard not to, though. Our instinct as parents is naturally to protect our kids from all the bad things that may come their way. But we can’t do that all the time. Not only are there things we simply cannot protect them from, they also have to learn how to make decisions and develop their own problem-solving skills.
So, in preparing my head and my heart for some real conversations I know are coming (if they haven’t already), here is a modern-day version of the Sermon on the Mount, adapted from a broader view of Scripture:
You have heard it said, “Don’t be friends with those kids; they’re different than us.”
But I say to you: There will be many you meet throughout life who look different than you, come from different backgrounds, dress differently, talk differently, or act differently. I encourage you to seek out those who seem to have no friends — the new kids in school, the one with a disability, whether physical or otherwise, the one sitting alone in the lunch room — and be that friend they need. You may only be friends for a season or perhaps you make a life-long bestie. The point is to extend kindness, no matter what others pressure you to do or think about someone. (Proverbs 17:17a)
You have heard it said, “You need to lose weight if you want to (fill in the blank).”
But I say to you: You are fearfully and wonderfully made by the Creator of the universe, (Psalm 139:14) and God makes no mistakes! No matter what season of life (or growth stage) you are in, God is not done working on you. You may not be the tallest, thinnest, fastest, smartest, most talented kid in your class or on your team, but the Lord has designed you perfectly for His good purpose that He planned for you before the world began. (Ephesians 2:10)
You have heard it said, “Just take it; no one is looking.”
But I say to you: Always strive to be a person of integrity. Integrity is what you do when no one is watching you. However, God is always watching, and He is ultimately who we are accountable to. Always remember who you represent. (Proverbs 13:20)
You have heard it said, “You don’t have (fill in the latest trendy item)?? You’re so not cool.”
But I say to you: Your worth does not lie in what you possess, how trendy you dress, how smart you might be, or in any other thing than how our Holy God sees you. You are precious, you are chosen, you are dearly loved by your Savior. (1 Peter 2:9)
You have heard it said, “You NEED to download (insert the latest and greatest social media app).”
But I say to you: Be careful little eyes what you see. Just because your peers may have looser guardrails on what they spend their time watching and/or listening to does not mean that you are missing out. The guardrails put in place are for your protection and are there because you are dearly loved. You may not see it that way now, but one day (maybe when you become a parent yourself, Lord willing) you will. (Ephesians 5:11)
You have heard it said, “You’re missing out if you don’t (fill in the latest ‘thing to do’).”
But I say to you: I know it can feel like you are missing out on things sometimes, that you are somehow being left behind. But trust me, there is nothing this world has to offer that outweighs obeying your Heavenly Father and remaining faithful in His eyes. There will come times when you are enticed to take part in the latest trend or fit in with the “in crowd.” It’s not worth it. Any perceived fun will be fleeting, and what you will be left with is regret. Stand strong in the Lord, and look to His strength to withstand. (1 Thessalonians 5:21-22)
You have heard it said, “Why do you have to go to church? Do you think you’re better than me?”
But I say to you: Never be ashamed of your relationship with Jesus Christ or of how you spend your time at church/with church friends. Understand, Christians should never think they are better than anyone else — we are all sinners in need of a Savior. However, always pray and ask that God would give you the boldness needed, not just to stand up for Him, but to share the Gospel with others. (Romans 1:16)
If we as parents are not regularly instilling these truths into the hearts and minds of our children, the world will tell them what their innocent ears are open to hear. Paul admonishes us in the book of 2 Timothy, “Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work. So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.” (2 Timothy 2:21-22)
The idea of being set apart is critical as we disciple young hearts. Pressure will mount as they get older to fit in with the wrong crowd, to follow the wrong people (in their immediate sphere or online influencers), and to conform to the world’s standards, which change with the wind.
So, let’s focus our attention and discipleship on being set apart and modeling that for our kids, on being transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2), and to remind our youth that we are God’s treasured possession. (Deuteronomy 7:6) Our time with them under our immediate care is but a breath in the grand scheme of things. Let’s make every moment count. (Psalm 90:12)
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