A year ago, I sat in my doctor’s office and heard two words I never imagined someone would use to describe me. I knew before going in to see him that this wasn’t going to go well. I felt it. Winded going up a flight of stairs. Feeling tired all the time. Something had shifted. Not overnight. Slowly, over the course of several years.
My fears were confirmed when I stepped on the dreaded scale that serves as the entry fee for the doctor’s office and heard the nurse mumble 310 lbs as she jotted down a note. I winced. I had never weighed that much before. I looked down at my shoes, as if they were the problem.
What stung more were the words my doctor said as he read my chart. “Morbidly obese.”
He wasn’t trying to shame me. It was clinical. Honest. Medical terminology. But those two words landed harder than I anticipated. In fact, they echoed in my mind for days afterward.
After a day or two I Googled it to see what the medical definition was. What I read sent me spiraling. To be considered morbidly obese, it meant I had a BMI of 40 or greater and was roughly 100 lbs or more overweight.
Deep down, I knew my health was important. However, it had been on the back burner for several years. Like a lot of men, I had become very good at carrying responsibility while quietly neglecting my own health. Work. Leadership. Stress. Family. Deadlines. Pressure. Fatigue. You keep pushing forward because that’s what men do. You tell yourself you’ll deal with it later.
Sometimes later comes sooner than you expect, and sometimes it arrives in a doctor’s office.
What made it even more emotional for me was the timing. This was just a few months after a major back surgery. In my mind, there were legitimate reasons to stay comfortable. To take it easy. To avoid discomfort. This wasn’t my fault. Internally, I told myself that if I didn’t focus on my health, nobody else is going to do it for me.
So, I made a life-changing decision. I started small.
Not with an elite athlete mindset. I certainly wasn’t there yet.
I didn’t have a special app, the latest fitness gadget, or a Hollywood fad diet.
I just started with one step after another.
At 5:00 AM, the world was mostly still asleep. In the dark, I hit the pavement.
Some mornings I felt determined. Honestly, there were also days I wanted to snooze.
There were days when my body hurt and I was exhausted. Days when I would have rather slept in and forgotten my diet, because “I deserved it!”
But I kept going anyway. Day after day.
Slowly, my life began to change.
Honestly, the first 20 pounds was a little discouraging. Nobody noticed! No applause. Not yet. But, inside I knew what was happening. I could feel it.
The weight kept coming off. I noticed I was no longer winded going up a flight of stairs. I was sleeping better. My resting heart rate dropped, and my cholesterol came down to a healthy level.
Meanwhile, my energy levels and mood improved. I stopped feeling constantly exhausted, even after countless days of long hours as husband, dad, coach, employee, minister, and superhero (at least my 9-year-old thinks so!)
I dropped 8 sizes off my waist! 85 pounds gone over the course of 6 months! Suddenly, everyone noticed!
I’ve never been one to seek verbal validation, but it surprised me how much encouragement from others mattered.
The positive comments and support.
“You’re looking good.”
“Keep going.”
“I’m proud of you.”
“What diet are you on?”
People probably don’t realize how powerful encouragement becomes when someone is quietly working to change their life.
The reality is that many men are fighting battles nobody sees.
According to the CDC, obesity prevalence among men reached 39.2% in 2023, and it is on a steep incline. That statistic is significant because those numbers represent real people. A father. A husband. A leader. A provider. Someone carrying a stressful load while trying to keep everything together.
Many high performers are running on stress, poor sleep, anxiety, inflammation, and emotional exhaustion. How often do we ignore symptoms, delay doctor visits, suppress emotions, and keep performing no matter the internal cost?
But eventually the body finds its limit. Our mortality catches up with us.
The World Health Organization reports that depression and anxiety cause the loss of an estimated 12 billion working days globally every year. Chronic stress impacts sleep, cardiovascular health, energy, focus, hormones, and long-term physical health.
Working on your health is not about vanity. It is about stewardship of what God gave you. It is about empowering your leadership. It’s about being more present with your family and living a longer and healthier life.
If all you can start with is a walk. Start there and slowly build up distance and speed.
The American Heart Association says, “There’s a wealth of evidence showing walking improves heart and brain health and helps people live longer.” Honestly, there’s nothing magical about walking. If it weren’t for my AirPods I would have lost interest real quick. However, it is the small, repeated decisions that become powerful over time. One early morning jog, eating one healthier meal a day, one less excuse to get moving, one decision to keep going even when you don’t feel like it.
June is Men’s Health Month, and it is important because too many men are quietly living through their own exhaustion while pretending to be fine. I know that feeling, but I also know what it feels like to fight your way back.
If there’s one thing I would say to any man reading this, it’s this:
You do not have to become perfect overnight. Don’t focus on fads or pressure or appearance.
You just have to start.
Walking.
Moving.
Taking your health seriously.
Believing your future is worth it.
Investing in yourself so you can be the hero your family needs.
Dads. Husbands. Sons. Brothers. Men. You are worth the investment!
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