The path to adulthood used to have a clear timeline.
Graduate. Get a job. Move out. Start life. Simple enough.
But not anymore. Now you have young adults living in a strange in between. Part teen. Part adult. Still on your Wi-Fi. Still asking what’s for dinner. Still surprised at the cost of groceries.
You love them. You believe in them. You just did not expect the launch into adulthood to move at the speed of a slow loading page.
After all, when you were their age, you were hustling. You were working multiple jobs, driving a car held together by faith and zip ties, paying rent, buying your own groceries, and still somehow making it to church on time. You had already been through multiple romantic relationships, and you were convinced adulthood came with a cape.
But times have changed. The world is now louder, faster, more expensive, and infinitely more complicated.
Before you panic or preach, I want to encourage you to pause. Consider whether the delay you are seeing with your young adult might be something God can use to build something deeper and longer lasting.
The truth is, adulting hasn’t disappeared it’s just been delayed. And the reasons go far beyond attitude or ambition.
Just a few generations ago, adulthood happened fast.
During the Industrial Revolution, twelve-year-olds worked factory lines and teenagers built railroads. By the 1940s, young men were storming beaches at eighteen while young women were running households well before twenty. In the 1950s, most couples married by their early twenties and bought homes on single incomes.
But the world has changed. The pathway to independence now winds through longer education, skyrocketing costs, and a digital economy that trades stability for speed.
Today’s emerging adults aren’t lazy; they’re navigating a world that moves faster than any before it yet somehow delays every milestone that once defined “grown-up.”
The statistics are startling but not hopeless.
Here are a few for perspective:
A Columbia University study (2024) found that addictive social-media habits double the risk of depression and suicidal thoughts.
Another 2024 report found that the covid pandemic disrupted key developmental processes (e.g., identity formation, financial independence) for emerging adults.
It is not laziness. It is mental exhaustion. They are growing up under the constant glow of comparison. Feeling less than. Pressured by every fake overachiever on social who makes exhaustion look effortless.
Their confidence has been shattered. They put on a game face but inside many of them are broken, hurting, and looking for hope.
Yet beneath the stress something hopeful is stirring. I’ve seen this firsthand in our local church.
Barna’s 2025 report shows that faith in Jesus is actually rising among Millennials and Gen Z.
Axios reported that Gen Z young men now attend church more than Millennials.
That means the same kids who once may have only watched 30 seconds of preaching on TikTok are walking through the physical church doors again. They are craving purpose that cannot be downloaded. Connection. Authenticity.
And that is where parents and mentors come in.
“My presence will go with you and I will give you rest.” Exodus 33:14 (ESV)
Every parent of an emerging adult knows this conversation.
You say, “I think God has big plans for you.”
They say, “Yeah maybe later.”
Or maybe you only get a grunt or a blank stare.
No text response. If you are lucky, a “k” and then radio silence.
Moses tried the same thing. When God called him to lead Israel, Moses gave God a five-part symphony of self-doubt:
- “Who am I?” (Exodus 3:11) He doubted his worth.
- “What should I say?” (Exodus 3:13) He doubted his knowledge.
- “What if they don’t believe me?” (Exodus 4:1) He doubted his credibility.
- “I am not eloquent.” (Exodus 4:10) He doubted his ability.
- “Please send someone else.” (Exodus 4:13) He doubted his calling.
If Moses had been an emerging adult today, he might have said, “I love that for you, God, but it’s not my vibe.”
And just like with your son or daughter, God didn’t cancel Moses. He didn’t lecture or compare him to Joshua or Joseph. He didn’t ask, “Why aren’t you further along?”
He simply said, “I will be with you.” (Exodus 3:12)
Confidence begins there. It’s not in ability or achievement, but in presence.
1. Their bedroom light is on at 2 a.m. but their alarm never rings before noon.
2. Their résumé includes “Minecraft architect.”
3. They say “I’m looking for a job” but all they’ve done is search Google.
4. You have delivered more DoorDash to their room than hot meals to your own table.
5. They quote your advice back to you but start with “So, I heard this on a podcast.”
If you laughed, good. Humor keeps hope alive. Now, back to the practical stuff.
Confidence cannot grow in shame.
They will make mistakes. They will change majors three times. They may even come home again after you turned their room into an office.
Show grace. Let them know love does not expire. Remind them that no matter what this world throws at them, your home will always be a safe space for them.
Model a rhythm that includes quiet and peace.
I can already hear the collective “Wait, what?” echoing across living rooms. Rest? In this economy? All they do is rest!
Yes, rest.
Because if you are exhausted, frantic, and spiritually running on fumes, that’s the version of adulthood your emerging adult is watching and learning from. They are absorbing your patterns. If you never slow down, they will assume peace is something you earn instead of something you receive.
Even creation began with rest. Adam’s first full day wasn’t labor; it was Sabbath. God could have made the world in a blink, but He chose to take His time and pause, to bless, to enjoy what was good.
Rest is not lazy. It is a declaration that God is still in control when we pause, breathe, and let go. You are demonstrating trust in God. This is very important.
Even when they act like they do not need you they still do.
You might say, “The evidence just isn’t there. I’ve tried and tried.” I get it. You pour out advice, support, and love, and it feels like it just bounces off the surface. But connection with an emerging adult often looks different than it used to. It’s not nightly family dinners anymore. Now it’s a random text at random or a five-minute conversation while they’re half-distracted by something else. Don’t confuse fewer moments for less meaning.
Keep showing up anyway.
Listen first. Ask curious questions. Cheer for effort not just success. Celebrate courage, even when the outcome isn’t perfect.
Pursue presence over perfection and watch God work in time. Cherish every moment of connection.
And when they finally text back a single emoji, frame it. Sometimes, even a “👍” is a love language. And maybe, just maybe, it’s the start of something deeper.
The world says believe in yourself. That’s clearly not working out.
Confidence built on self alone eventually cracks.
That’s why Proverbs 3:26 reminds us, “The Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught.”
Keep speaking truth over them. You are still their most trusted voice, even when they roll their eyes or pretend they’re not listening. Truth doesn’t always echo back right away, but it settles deep.
Let what you speak sound like the love of Jesus, not the noise of opinion or the weight of expectation. Speak grace that invites, not guilt that pushes away.
And remember, truth doesn’t have to be fancy. Sometimes it’s as simple as, “God’s got you,” or, “I believe in who He’s making you to be.” Authentic words outlast perfect ones.
Slow growth is still growth. Trust that God can build depth where the world only measures speed.
Invite them to church without guilt. Serve alongside them. Pray with them. Let them see that faith is not a lecture but that it is a lifestyle that is honorable and rewarding.
Remember, that confidence blossoms in homes filled with grace and laughter.
Also, confidence is not built in perfect circumstances. It is built in imperfect faith.
You cannot fix every fear or delete every doubt.
But you can love consistently. You can laugh often. You can keep showing them what faith looks like in motion.
God used forty years of wilderness to prepare Moses. He can handle your child’s 5-year extended timeline.
The world is louder than ever. The clock is ticking. And the pressures pulling at this generation are very real.
But God is not late. He is patient. He is available.
Your emerging adult is on a different timeline than you were at their age.
Adapt. Breathe. Pray. Laugh.
Show them hope. Encourage. Uplift. Love.
God isn’t waiting for your child to be perfect. He’s already preparing them for purpose.