"In sickness and in health."
We all say those words on our wedding day, usually while standing in a church, dressed in our best clothes, feeling invincible. At that moment, sickness feels like a distant, abstract concept. Something for "old people" or just something that happens to someone else.
But when a real health crisis hits your marriage, those vows suddenly carry a lot more weight. Whether it’s a sudden diagnosis, a chronic condition, or the slow wear-and-tear of aging, health challenges can shake the foundation of even the strongest relationship. It changes the dynamic. It brings fear, exhaustion, and sometimes, a crisis of faith.
If you are navigating a difficult diagnosis or a long-term health battle with your spouse, know that you aren't alone. God designed marriage to be a shelter in these exact storms. Here are 10 Christian tips to help you and your spouse stay strong, connected, and faithful through the journey.
Pain makes us irritable. Medication side effects can change personalities. Fatigue shortens fuses. When you are in the thick of a health battle, it is easy to start seeing your spouse as the source of your frustration, or to feel like the healthy spouse "doesn't get it."
Remind yourself daily that the sickness is the enemy, not your spouse. As Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 reminds us, "Two are better than one... If either of them falls down, one can help the other up." You are allies fighting a battle together, not opponents.
This sounds basic, but it is often the first thing to go when we are tired. You don't need eloquent, long prayers. Sometimes, just holding hands and sitting in silence before God is enough.
Invite the Holy Spirit into the doctor's waiting room or the late-night pain flare-ups. James 5:16 says, "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed." There is a unique healing, emotional and spiritual, that comes when a husband and wife bring their burdens to the Lord together.
Health challenges have a way of putting blinders on us. We focus so much on what is broken that we stop seeing what is still working. Counteract this by aggressively hunting for the good.
Did the medication work better today? Did a friend bring over a meal? Is the sun shining? Make it a habit to voice these blessings to one another. “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:18). Gratitude doesn't cure the illness, but it heals the perspective.
Sickness often changes the physical aspect of marriage. Maybe you can't go on the long hikes you used to love, or physical intimacy has become difficult or impossible for a season. This can lead to feelings of rejection or loneliness if not addressed.
You have to get creative. Redefine what closeness looks like for this season. Maybe it’s reading a book aloud to each other, listening to worship music, or just cuddling on the couch. Intimacy is about connection, not just activity. Focus on the emotional and spiritual bond that sickness cannot touch.
Christians are often great at giving help but terrible at receiving it. We want to be self-sufficient. But Galatians 6:2 tells us to "Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."
By refusing help, you might be denying someone else the blessing of serving you. If your Medi-Share community, church group, or neighbors want to mow the lawn, bring dinner, or drive you to an appointment...say yes. It protects your marriage from burnout.
Your spouse cannot read your mind. If you are the caregiver, you might need a break but feel guilty asking. If you are the one who is ill, you might feel like a burden and hide your pain.
Silence breeds resentment. Be honest. "I need an hour to myself to recharge," or "I am really hurting right now and just need you to sit with me." Ephesians 4:15 encourages us to speak the truth in love. Clear communication prevents the guessing games that lead to conflict.
It's okay to be sad. It's okay to mourn the plans you had that have been put on hold or cancelled. You don't have to put on a "brave face" for God. He knows your heart.
Take time to grieve together. Cry together. Acknowledge that this is hard and that it’s not what you wanted. Psalm 34:18 promises, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Grieving is a healthy part of processing the change in your life.
Don’t let the diagnosis become the third person in your marriage. If every conversation revolves around symptoms, appointments, and insurance, the relationship suffocates.
Designate "illness-free zones" or times. Talk about the news, your kids, your hobbies, or what God is teaching you in Scripture. You are a child of God and a spouse first; you are a patient or caregiver second. Keep the rest of your life alive.
Fear is a constant companion during health crises. Fear of the future, fear of financial ruin, fear of death. The only antidote to fear is faith in God’s promises.
Write down verses that speak to God’s faithfulness and post them around the house. When anxiety spikes, read them out loud. Isaiah 41:10 is a powerful anchor: "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
Proverbs 17:22 says, "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." It might seem inappropriate to laugh when things are serious, but humor is a gift from God. It releases tension and reminds you that joy is still possible.
Watch a funny movie. Share a joke. Laugh at the absurdity of the situation if you have to. Laughter is an act of defiance against the darkness of illness. It says, "You may have changed our plans, but you haven't stolen our joy."
Navigating health challenges in marriage is a marathon, not a sprint. There will be good days and terrible days. But by clinging to God and to each other, you can emerge with a love that is tested, refined, and deeper than you ever imagined.
Your vows didn't promise an easy life, but God promised He would never leave you. Lean into that truth today.